We all are in somewhat in the middle of everything you say. Im a fan of some -including you- and have my own "fans", some I'd like to chat with and have coffee with, and others whom I dont care to get to know (I might even get scared to know some of them...) So I do agree with you.
But you must also recognize as your own right, to simply have a private-not-online-or-shared-whit-very-few-ones life. It is every writter, blogger, specialist, artist, reknownperson thing. We in Mexico call it being "mamon" (somewhat of a sucker) because you and only you, have the right to be selfish and selecto who you want to share with, eventought others might find you exclusive and might even get mad at you.
And we have to get used to the idea that internet has made us all public and somewhat available in recent times. Reason powerfull enough to let others (readers, fans, etc.) that we like both sides communications but that does not make us friends at all. Keeping the distance, some say.
Whats on the future? I belive the same thing than now, just tainted by a fusion of your real and online life. You get to know who ever you want -yes, being selfish with your life is correct (read Atlas Shruged if you dont get it)- if there is this "chemistry" thing on both sides. If they give you and you give them. And there will also be, as in real life, some circles and "times". Are your friends from highschool the same to the time? Nope, at least not in my case. I've kept a very few. I belive my online friends will change also with the time...isnt it?
Graham
· 2 years ago
I can relate to a lot of what you write and I understand where you are coming from. From my point of view I have a lot of difficulty with superficiality and try to make what happens around me as meaningful as possible.
In reality I have few friends because I am probably too "exacting" with those that I meet. I don't relate well with shallowness and prefer to get to grips with "bigger questions". I am realizing that that makes me somewhat "intense" so a lot less fun than someone who is able to relate on different levels ;-)
I think the problem with social networks is that there is a tendency to spread yourself very thinly and if you lack a large central core this can be very uncomfortable.
Social networks seem to be somewhat similar to the whole web 2.0 phenomena. They are at great risk of implosion due to the sparkliness of new haunts that compete for our attention. You build somewhere and put a lot of effort into something and one day all your "friends" go elsewhere.
I was very involved with the MMORPG community for a few years but my buddies and I stopped playing and it's not the same online fun as it was.
I was also very involved with Orkut too but those that I knew left and the whole Orkut scene seemed to shift to South America.
I was starting to get into Facebook but I can't deny that there is a rift in age groups which makes it hard for me to sustain a presence.
So it seems to me (without unduly rambling) that often I have been out in the jungle looking for elephant footprints when the elephant is in reality at home.
I think that ultimately (and surprisingly) my blog reflects me as I am which is why I keep on with it. What I will not do however is to be who I am not or try to portray me as someone different which would be unsustainable in the long term.
I don't comment here as much as I should but permit me to add that I had a lot of fun meeting you and it is only time and distance that have prevented me from showing up at Bloggy Fridays which is a shame as it is "only" 60km or so isn't it.
I'm proud to be a "fan" of yours and your blog and your posts are always a source of pleasure and discovery. I envy your travelling and all the friends you have but I could never do what you do and that's fine. I must add that your intelligence and social concern shines through. We share bilinguality and some geographical proximity and I'm very happy and comfortable with my "place" in your social network.
I wish you your deserved share of happiness and if I can contribute to that I will. Happy Sunday!
François Granger
· 2 years ago
A really interesting and thought provoking post !
Yes, on one side, tools gives us new perspectives, on the other side, we are still the same old human being...
Paula Schramm
· 2 years ago
To me online and offline social networks have always been two very different things, seperate. I think getting to know someone online, especially if it is not reciprocal, does not aleviate you from the necessity of getting to know the person offline and dealing with them according to their inclinations. Probably this isn't makin much sense yet.
I for example have met you before, but if I met you again, I wouldn't expect you to remember me or give me any of your time. Simply because it was in a very public situation and we only talked very briefly. That I regularly read your blog, doesn't mean you have any idea who I am. I'm not sure I'm making much more sense now.
What I'm trying to say is simply: you are responsible for yourself, in your relationships as well as your work as wel as your life in general. Sometimes hopes of relationships might be disapointed, sometimes you miss someone you would have gotten along with exelently. But then again you seem to have a great network of people and good friends, is there any reason to spend less time with them because you might meet someone else that is as interesting? I feel not.
Jokerine.
Ali
· 2 years ago
Interesting. I spend most of my time on Livejournal, which uses pseudonyms usually, and I've recently started exploring technology blogs like yours (it was brilliant to be able to read all those entries about the conference, for example), but I'm blown away by the amount of intimacy people seem to confer on readers, almost as a matter of course, in this area. (Not that it is necessarily intimacy, but you know what I mean.)
It seems like an awful lot to keep up with, or broadcast to, what with all these little channels that say where person X is and what they're doing.
Not entirely sure what my point is - perhaps that what I think I'm seeing in your world is a subculture which seems attractive but is actually quite exacting to be part of. It would unnerve me completely to have that kind of visibility - it sounds like you're 'always on', for example, when you may not want or need to be so available.
Bob Warfield
· 2 years ago
We've exchanged an apparent bonanza of shallow choices for depth. Our problem is a scarcity of scarcity:
One of the problems of the "new social order" some of us early adopters inhabit is that we are in the middle of technology-inspired changes that are moving faster than the appropriate "social norms" can keep up with. As you've discovered (ref this post and your birthday in the US earlier this year), the etiquette we've been brought up with doesn't adequately equip you for some of the situations you find yourself in (me - I don't have your problem because I'm less visible ATM ... I'm still "just a fan"!) and the "new etiquette" is still very much a work-in-progress.
Transparency like this is a crucial step in that progress - somebody needs to start the dialogue rather than just block people or ignore them at conferences (declaring "social bankruptcy"?). Perhaps the next step is to advertise to your network your "social goals" PRIOR to attending the next conference - who you'd like to meet up with, what time you might have available for meeting "new" people, etc.
That may seem a bit cold to those of us raised with a less confronting way of dealing with "real world strangers" socially (I suspect that our children will have less difficulty accepting this sort of approach), but I know I would find it less embarrassing and intrusive to know ahead of time whether or not you were willing to talk to me (as a "fan", and someone only known to you virtually), and when/where it might be preferable to do so, if I were attending the same conference as you.
Whatever the outcome (and assuming that your fireproof suit is up to the task!) I think this is a useful step towards a new set of social norms - brave work indeed!
J.S.Zolliker
· 2 years ago
Here's a little thing related. Hope you enjoy it!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DgzHrI61CuM&eurl=
Stephanie
· 2 years ago
I looked at the video, but I'm afraid to say I don't really see how it's related! (other than the fact an inspirational speech can be related to just about any of the things of life...)
Chris Brogan...
· 1 year ago
This is an excellent post about something that is on my mind, too. I'm having a harder and harder time scaling. As my website is currently broken (for the last 6 days), I'll spare sharing a link with you.
But suffice to say that I hear you, and identify with you, and wish you the very best.
All Comments
We all are in somewhat in the middle of everything you say. Im a fan of some -including you- and have my own "fans", some I'd like to chat with and have coffee with, and others whom I dont care to get to know (I might even get scared to know some of them...) So I do agree with you.
But you must also recognize as your own right, to simply have a private-not-online-or-shared-whit-very-few-ones life. It is every writter, blogger, specialist, artist, reknownperson thing. We in Mexico call it being "mamon" (somewhat of a sucker) because you and only you, have the right to be selfish and selecto who you want to share with, eventought others might find you exclusive and might even get mad at you.
And we have to get used to the idea that internet has made us all public and somewhat available in recent times. Reason powerfull enough to let others (readers, fans, etc.) that we like both sides communications but that does not make us friends at all. Keeping the distance, some say.
Whats on the future? I belive the same thing than now, just tainted by a fusion of your real and online life. You get to know who ever you want -yes, being selfish with your life is correct (read Atlas Shruged if you dont get it)- if there is this "chemistry" thing on both sides. If they give you and you give them. And there will also be, as in real life, some circles and "times". Are your friends from highschool the same to the time? Nope, at least not in my case. I've kept a very few. I belive my online friends will change also with the time...isnt it?
I can relate to a lot of what you write and I understand where you are coming from. From my point of view I have a lot of difficulty with superficiality and try to make what happens around me as meaningful as possible.
In reality I have few friends because I am probably too "exacting" with those that I meet. I don't relate well with shallowness and prefer to get to grips with "bigger questions". I am realizing that that makes me somewhat "intense" so a lot less fun than someone who is able to relate on different levels ;-)
I think the problem with social networks is that there is a tendency to spread yourself very thinly and if you lack a large central core this can be very uncomfortable.
Social networks seem to be somewhat similar to the whole web 2.0 phenomena. They are at great risk of implosion due to the sparkliness of new haunts that compete for our attention. You build somewhere and put a lot of effort into something and one day all your "friends" go elsewhere.
I was very involved with the MMORPG community for a few years but my buddies and I stopped playing and it's not the same online fun as it was.
I was also very involved with Orkut too but those that I knew left and the whole Orkut scene seemed to shift to South America.
I was starting to get into Facebook but I can't deny that there is a rift in age groups which makes it hard for me to sustain a presence.
So it seems to me (without unduly rambling) that often I have been out in the jungle looking for elephant footprints when the elephant is in reality at home.
I think that ultimately (and surprisingly) my blog reflects me as I am which is why I keep on with it. What I will not do however is to be who I am not or try to portray me as someone different which would be unsustainable in the long term.
I don't comment here as much as I should but permit me to add that I had a lot of fun meeting you and it is only time and distance that have prevented me from showing up at Bloggy Fridays which is a shame as it is "only" 60km or so isn't it.
I'm proud to be a "fan" of yours and your blog and your posts are always a source of pleasure and discovery. I envy your travelling and all the friends you have but I could never do what you do and that's fine. I must add that your intelligence and social concern shines through. We share bilinguality and some geographical proximity and I'm very happy and comfortable with my "place" in your social network.
I wish you your deserved share of happiness and if I can contribute to that I will. Happy Sunday!
A really interesting and thought provoking post !
Yes, on one side, tools gives us new perspectives, on the other side, we are still the same old human being...
To me online and offline social networks have always been two very different things, seperate. I think getting to know someone online, especially if it is not reciprocal, does not aleviate you from the necessity of getting to know the person offline and dealing with them according to their inclinations. Probably this isn't makin much sense yet.
I for example have met you before, but if I met you again, I wouldn't expect you to remember me or give me any of your time. Simply because it was in a very public situation and we only talked very briefly. That I regularly read your blog, doesn't mean you have any idea who I am. I'm not sure I'm making much more sense now.
What I'm trying to say is simply: you are responsible for yourself, in your relationships as well as your work as wel as your life in general. Sometimes hopes of relationships might be disapointed, sometimes you miss someone you would have gotten along with exelently. But then again you seem to have a great network of people and good friends, is there any reason to spend less time with them because you might meet someone else that is as interesting? I feel not.
Jokerine.
Interesting. I spend most of my time on Livejournal, which uses pseudonyms usually, and I've recently started exploring technology blogs like yours (it was brilliant to be able to read all those entries about the conference, for example), but I'm blown away by the amount of intimacy people seem to confer on readers, almost as a matter of course, in this area. (Not that it is necessarily intimacy, but you know what I mean.)
It seems like an awful lot to keep up with, or broadcast to, what with all these little channels that say where person X is and what they're doing.
Not entirely sure what my point is - perhaps that what I think I'm seeing in your world is a subculture which seems attractive but is actually quite exacting to be part of. It would unnerve me completely to have that kind of visibility - it sounds like you're 'always on', for example, when you may not want or need to be so available.
We've exchanged an apparent bonanza of shallow choices for depth. Our problem is a scarcity of scarcity:
http://smoothspan.wordpress.com/2007/10/07/the-biggest-thing-the-web-brings-is-choice-what-does-choice-make-scarce/
One of the problems of the "new social order" some of us early adopters inhabit is that we are in the middle of technology-inspired changes that are moving faster than the appropriate "social norms" can keep up with. As you've discovered (ref this post and your birthday in the US earlier this year), the etiquette we've been brought up with doesn't adequately equip you for some of the situations you find yourself in (me - I don't have your problem because I'm less visible ATM ... I'm still "just a fan"!) and the "new etiquette" is still very much a work-in-progress.
Transparency like this is a crucial step in that progress - somebody needs to start the dialogue rather than just block people or ignore them at conferences (declaring "social bankruptcy"?). Perhaps the next step is to advertise to your network your "social goals" PRIOR to attending the next conference - who you'd like to meet up with, what time you might have available for meeting "new" people, etc.
That may seem a bit cold to those of us raised with a less confronting way of dealing with "real world strangers" socially (I suspect that our children will have less difficulty accepting this sort of approach), but I know I would find it less embarrassing and intrusive to know ahead of time whether or not you were willing to talk to me (as a "fan", and someone only known to you virtually), and when/where it might be preferable to do so, if I were attending the same conference as you.
Whatever the outcome (and assuming that your fireproof suit is up to the task!) I think this is a useful step towards a new set of social norms - brave work indeed!
Here's a little thing related. Hope you enjoy it!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DgzHrI61CuM&eurl=
I looked at the video, but I'm afraid to say I don't really see how it's related! (other than the fact an inspirational speech can be related to just about any of the things of life...)
This is an excellent post about something that is on my mind, too. I'm having a harder and harder time scaling. As my website is currently broken (for the last 6 days), I'll spare sharing a link with you.
But suffice to say that I hear you, and identify with you, and wish you the very best.